Disappointed

I am standing outside the circle frowning. Months ago I was part of it. Months ago I thought this circle is a strong one. Now, I am outside it looking inside clinging on to someone inside it refusing to let go.

Should I let go? I had asked myself countless of times lately. Should I just let go and fall into oblivion since I am not needed anymore? That I am there not because they want me to? But because I am a convenience?

My hands are weak now... after what I had witness and experienced today I am letting my hands loose slowly. Isn't there anyone inside that cares about me anymore? I needed help and no one volunteered. Did they even notice that I am drifting away? Or they are secretly hope that I am gone? Maybe they should just tell me... so that I can just let go and fall into the abyss of loneliness below before another circle picked me up again....Maybe I should be Rorschach and wander the streets alone..

Why am I not surprise?

Why am I not surprise when I read this report (but it is still worrying though)? Nearly half of the surveyed teenagers do not even have friends outside of their race. Even worse, even less of the students thought of it as an issue.

Of course I don't blame these young ignorant minds. Its the way they are brought up that is to be blame. I mean come on, they are being taught to grow up to hate each other by their parents. Even our leaders are setting a bad example here. First we had some keris-waving-minister shouting some racists remarks and even threaten to kill too. Then we have some blame-Singapore-Menteri-Besar objecting to "bangsa" Malaysia and even something that resembles the theory of a certain now defunct party about an uber race.

So the question now is, are parents concern about educating the children about the importance of racial tolerance? Are our country leaders ready to stop playing racial politics and start promoting national unity? Are we all, the adult population , ready to open up our minds and learn to accept people of different skin colour and religion?

What is equally worrying is the fact that there seems to be a lack of interest in general knowledge among teenagers. Again I don't think these kids are to blame for any of it. Just look at our educational system. We are encouraging nothing more then asking these poor kids to swallow as many subjects as possible so that they can vomit everything out during their examinations. Our educational system is so A's crazy that parents are simply encouraging their children to study more and care less about anything else. The media ain't helping either. They are always glorify these A's whores such as this muthafuckers here and this lifeless bitch here as if they are some kind of role models for the younger ones. Even the teachers are now more interested in teaching their students on how to score in the their subjects then what the students should really learn from the subject. With so many straight A's students our education system is producing, are kids these days getting any smarter or are they just a bunch of fucking mindless A-chasing zombies?

It is about time we wake up and face the painful truth we are facing today. Racial integration is failing, students does not give shit when it comes to things that is apart from their studies and we are playing a major part of turning our teenagers in it.

Another one bites the dust~

I just can't stop singing along with Queen after reading about another "Ambulance caused death" and this time it's because all of the ambulance is out of fuel.

This is definitely a "WTF"-worthy scenario here. How in Chua's name can an ambulance run out of petrol let alone "all the ambulances were out of petrol"? What? Those ambulance petrol costs are not covered in the budget? I thought as part as the emergency response team that is responsible and dedicated to SAVE PEOPLE'S LIFE, each and every ambulance should be in top condition and ready to go round the clock?

Is Chua Soi Lek so obsessed with fastfood chains in Malaysia that he had forgotten his top priority? Or maybe he is busy surfing the internet for some gruesome photos about the side effects of smoking for his planned campaign? With such outrageous deaths caused by ambulances of late why not just commission those guys at the nearest funeral parlour to bring in the "patients" instead?

And you think the infamous late respond time for the average Malaysian ambulance is bad sheesh...

So does this mean you guys admit that you had screw up big time?

Hmmm.. According to The Star

A higher class of trainers and better health facilities at the training camps. These are the immediate measures being taken to improve the national service (NS) programme.

Erm... Isn't that what is suppose to be done like way back when NS is in its planning phase? So does that mean that the government had admit that the NS is a half-ass plan all along? Or they are trying to use the software prototyping technique that the government first comes out with an incomplete plan and the (forced) testers which are the trainees, are there to test it?

So why not suspend the NS completely until the government had time to replan, upgrade and maybe if they are smart enough, find out what went wrong?

How long before the big boys come knocking?

If you miss out on The Star's Wong Chun Wai's piece last Sunday here it is and yes I am becoming to like this guy. He had been quite a "mainstream spokesperson" for bloggers these days. But the big problem is this. How long more can Wong Chun Wai speak honestly in his column about blogs before the big boys from Putrajaya comes knocking on his door and ask him to shut up?

I mean if they can do this they can do anything.

Disgusted

What's with this shit? The tourism Minister said something stupid and he still escape this whole ordeal unscathed. Then he push the blame to Nila Tanzil and the reporters at Sin Chew and poor Nila got suspended from her job (source: Susan Loone).

Fuck honesty. Telling the truth will get you nothing but shit. I know this all too well. Fuck, this scenario closely resembles mine that this pisses me so bad. Is this because, in the words of Jack Nicholson in a Few Good Men, simply "can't handle the truth"? Is the truth so ugly for them that they prefer to listen to nothing but lies? Or is the truth is so unbearable that the truth-bearer are considered as liars?

Don't worry Nila I am with you all the way. Don't let some stupid Tourism Minister of ours get to you and keep you from telling the truth.

As for Ku Nan, don't think that we bloggers will simple forget what you had said and done. No amount of excuse can make us forgive you. Unless of course you openly apologise to all bloggers and also to Nila but then again that will be the day when hell freezes over.

It seems that not all from the mainstream media are our enemies after all.

Came upon this editorial by Wong Chun Wai titled "Pointless acts" while browsing through The Star's webby. I usually only read news from The Star's website that explains why I bumped into this 11th March editorial just today -.-"

It's an excellent piece by the way. It speaks on how pointless it is to censor stuffs when most of the time we can just obtained these censored stuffs online. It's definitely nice to read an editorial by someone "techno-phobics" for a change.

I guess there is still hope for us in the mainstream papers after all. Well, at least more people heard Wong Chun Wai's voice then that Rehman what-his-name after all The Star have more readers than the GOP (Grand Old Paper). Check out another Wong Chun Wai's other piece titled "Bloggers have a duty too".

Well I guess there's nothing to worry about after all most of techno-phobic propaganda crap against blogs are only heard by a handful of people. Unless of course the mainstream press are being called up to yet another "close door" discussion like the previous "feel good" and toll hike "meeting" then we are in deep shit.

Misquoted?

He said he never said anything about bloggers being liars especially about women bloggers. He even go as far as saying "I am here because of women". After nearly a week of silence he finally talked about it. Read full story here. So tell me, what is with all these misquotings these days?

Are reporters these days have problem with their hearing? Or the PA system's quality is so bad that the reporters can't get the full picture? Or government officials these days talk in a language so sophisticated that even reporters don't even know what he is talking about?

How I wish life is just like a "Pinocchio" story so that we are able to detect who have the longest nose. But then again even if life is like a "Pinocchio" story, I doubt The Scale will lose in the elections as Malaysians tend to be very forgiving.... sigh~

Shall We "Feel Good" Now?

Our global trade had hit the magic trillion... so says our government. Then Reuters said its none other but a Putrajaya spin. So the government go all out to prove that this is no spin and they pump in money to the KLSE to make it hit the 1200 mark before the Chinese New Year. Some people are starting to feel good.

People are starting to believe in the KLSE for the first time since 9/11 and started to pump in money as well. Then our PM go all out to announce that the KLSE will hit the 1300 mark soon. The people buy it. Analyst said that the bull is real. Then shit happens. Right after the Chinese New Year the stock market like the rest of the World experience a sharp drop. The government tried to convince the people to have confidence in the KLSE. The PM had tried to reassure the people more than once. Frequently appeared in the headlines telling them our economy is still healthy. Even our Information Minister tried to "hint" the mainstream media not to "over-report" the market's crash.

Just today shit happens again. The stock market went south for another 2.8% (along with the rest of the world). True some analyst will blame it on the world economy from China to the US. True, I mean come on who are we kidding? Our stock market heavily rely on the world "superpowers". When shit happens to them shit happens to us. But here's my take on this whole situation. Do we measure our country's economy solely on the numbers of our stock exchange? Do we make people feel good by telling them our KLSE is doing well? What is there to feel good about when there some who still struggling to survive with only RM1 a day? Or some who are still hardly support their family due to the impact of the recent toll rise and last year's petrol hike?

So what gives the government to tell its people that they should feel good now? Should we feel good just for the sake of feeling good? Or should we feel good because we really felt the "goodness"?

Here we go again...

Seems like the government had a new ally against us bloggers. This time in the form of Rehman Rashid. Wonder what he said?

In my opinion, what they’ve really done is prove why freedom of expression was a really bad idea. In this country, a host of folk who never had a hope of getting published are now proving why not.

The local blogosphere is the domain of life-challenged grumblestiltskins and disenfranchised pundits whose asinine maunderings only show why they should never have had day jobs in the first place.

For the full article click here. Read this when I was browsing through Rocky's Bru's blog.

His article is nothing short of displaying that he is a dinosaur who should be living in the previous century. A dinosaur who is afraid of technology, afraid of the greatest gift that man had ever invented... the Internet, afraid of the limitless information that everyone can access at any given time and most importantly afraid of the truth OR MAYBE... his paymasters paid him well enough for him to sell his soul out to write this bullshit.

Looking at this man's fear of technology and progress, why not he just abandon everything else and go live in a cave then? That way you do not have to be so frustrated in dealing with technology.. or even better US.. the "liars-cum-rumour-mongers". Or maybe you should be better off in the stone age. Heck, judging from your article, you might even take a sledgehammer and smash the wheel when they invented it!

What? You can't handle 3 months and now you want to do 2 years?

Great... just when you think the 19 (or is that more?) deaths is enough for the government to wake up and considering to either revamp the NS program or canceling it all together, in comes our DPM saying that "3 months is not enough".

Heck, we can't even handle 3 months worth of training and now you want to extend it to 2 years? Look at all the problems plaguing the NS programs. Bad facilities, unexplainable trainee's death and bad handling of transportation are just one of the few major problems. Don't even get me started on the quality control of the NS trainers .

And there you are asking “Are parents willing to make a sacrifice (and delay their children’s graduations)? I suspect it will not be easy to persuade parents". Unless the NS program improve, I don't think it's their children's time that parents' are unwilling to sacrifice but their children's lifes instead!

SPM Results Freakshow

The annual circus freakshow called the SPM Results Day is back! This year's main event is none other then the rumoured 19A student which got 18A's instead. Like every crazy motherfucking freaks of yesteryears who thinks that they deserve every fucking A there is in SPM this motherfucking freak said she is disappointed despite scoring 18A's which is 9 more then an average student.

So tell me what is this sick motherfucking freak trying to prove? That she is smart? Or she is stupid enough to take so many subjects which nearly half of them are irrelevant? Or that she had a great tummy where she can swallow all those information in before the exams and vomit all of them out during SPM? Or that she, like most of the freaks in Guinness Prime Time tried to break some record that makes no sense?

So why the fuck so many subjects? Does she think that she will automatically get a PHD for that? Or does she thinks that she is the best student Malaysia ever produced? Or she have no life other than studying?

What make me so fucking pissed is that these fuckers (this motherfucker and this one one as well) think so highly of themselves despite scoring so many motherfucking A's they still have the face to tell the whole world that they are disappointed. Are they trying to make others feel stupid about themselves? Well fuck you. Things sure change fast. I mean its only been 5 years since my SPM and instead of improving its standards its becoming more and more like some freakshow.

66 (and still counting) vs 1

Here's the list of the 66 angry bloggers who wants a piece of the Tourism Minister... (wow that will be 66 pieces in total) compiled by Susan Loone.

Moral of the story? You fuck one of us you fuck with all of us. You fuck all of us.... you are in for one hell of a gangbang!

My Own Bridge to Terabithia....

Alright before we begin I just wanna say that this post is not a full review of the show "Bridge to Terabhitia" (which is based on a novel by Katherine Paterson of the same name). Its more about how the movie reflects my life and my thoughts after watching this movie. For those who haven't watch this movie, go watch it... NOW. It's a good movie and I strongly recommend moviegoers to watch it. My rating for this movie? An 8/10. Enough of this crappy mini-review and into the topic.

A thousand thoughts had entered my mind while watching this movie. One of the thoughts that crept into my mind is how this movie reflects me as a child. You see this movie is about how 2 kids (Jesse and Leslie) which are considered as outcasts and loners in school became close friends with each other and together they created an imaginary kingdom. You see, unlike the outgoing and happy-go-lucky "me" you see now, my childhood can be summarised in two simple words... fucked up.

Like the main character, Jesse, I am always a target for bullies in school not because of my size (I am bigger than most of them back then) but because my mum had a name that seem funny to them. You see the kids in my school had some fucked up hobby to kill time, they love to make fun of other kids whose parents had a name that can be easily made fun off and to them mine had the funniest. Everyday I would go to school just to listen to their verbal abuse.

I don't mind people making fun of me but I am very sensitive when it comes to my family. To make matters worse my class teacher is bias against me because most of them are either rich spoilt brats or top students who had nothing better to do. So each time I had enough of their taunts and threw a punch or two at them I would be sent to the principal's office.

No matter how overboard they go, it will always be my fault. I had even been called a lunatic by that bitch of a teacher because I often got into fights with her "pets". So yeah, back then school was my hell. Imagine to suffer tremendous verbal abuse from your classmates not because you deserve it, its because they think that my mum had funny sounding name. Only regret I had back then is that I took the "tough guy" approach and never tell anything my parents that I am being bullied and the reason why I fought is because I had enough, but instead let my teacher to tell them about "their" side of the tale instead which make them very disappointed. So how does the movie reflect my life you say? Patience, I am just about to reach that part.

So I am some sort of both a loner and outcast in my class. Having some bias bitch teacher who insult my state of mind and telling her colleagues how evil I am and having "friends" who make fun of your mum's name and not having one true friend I hated school. I hated everything back then. The only time that I truly love is when I got back from school and started to imagine things. Sometimes I would imagine that I am some superhero or even a pirate. Sometimes I would imagine that I am the king of my room with my pillows and my plushy camel as my loyal subjects and we would go to war against the other three countries (rooms) in my house.

My only escapade from my fucked up childhood back then is my own imagination. So while watching Bridge of Terabithia I can't stop smiling and say "been there done that" to myself. Unfortunately for me, unlike the film, I don't have a great friend with me to share my imagination.

So yeah, there you have it the story of my childhood a part of me where I had never ever mentioned to anyone until now. A part of me that I wished to forget but never failed to haunt me til' this day. Well, all I can say is thank God for CowHead a.k.a Tauren a.k.a Liang Peng for convincing me to watch that movie because finally there's something for me to relate my childhood to and make me feel like I had a better childhood then most of the fucktards I shared the same classroom with during primary school.

TO MY MUM: In case you are reading this mum, this is my side of the tale that I had always kept mummed about last time. I am sorry that you had to pick me up at the principal's office so frequently last time and I am sorry that I had hurt you because of the several complaints about me by other teachers last time and how frequent I got into fights last time and never tell you anything about being bullied back then. Thank you for being so patient with me and guiding me to be the person I am today.... and you too dad (which I don't think will read my blog :P). Love you guys.

w00t~ I am been called a liar in the papers!!

Wow for the first time in my life I had been mentioned by a Minister along with another 9999 more with 8000 presumably female)! Wow I am certainly honoured! To make matters even more interesting he called me a liar. Wow... been called a liar by a politician.. how do I feel? Of course I feel honoured by that remark. I mean that means me and the other 9999 bloggers of Malaysia are in the same fucking league with the Menteri's and Yang Berhormat's and pretty soon people might start paying me RM5 million ringgit to help me settle things for them. I will be a multi-billionaire by 30! Then I can build a palace all for myself. I might even try to open a satay restaurant while I am at it.

So my dear fellow bloggers... No point getting fumed up by that little comment . Look on the bright side... I mean in Malaysia liars all end up fucking rich and we should treat it as a compliment instead.

And Tengku Adnan... in the words of Samy Vellu... oh wait, you better ask him what he said during the next cabinet meeting.