Dial M for Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy had a new definition. Try look up on all your local newspapers yesterday and you will see it. Come later this year, I am sure Merriam-Webster will update their definition of hypocrisy to Tun Dr. Mahathir bin Mohamad.

Just when you thought that you know this man's limit to the word hypocrisy, he outdid himself again! The Csar of bailouts is telling Western leaders to stop following his footsteps in bailing out failed banks. Is this some sort of belated April's Fools joke that this infamous Tun is trying to put on the readers? This is coming from a man who had bailed out more companies (with the help of EPF and Petronas) from automobile industry to banks in his tenure than any other man in this planet.

Amen to that.

Well at least for once he did not link this crisis to the Jews. I call that an improvement!

Shinjuku Incident Review

Before going into the cinema I was expecting some sort of a Rumble in the Bronx type of story but substitute the Bronx with Tokyo and swap the black and latino gangsters with the yakuza and you have Shinjuku Incident since after all, this is a Jackie Chan movie. I was wrong which was good... sort of.

This movie have zero stunts. No kungfu and zero action. In this movie, Jackie acts as an illegal (kungfu-less) Chinese immigrant who "sneaked" into Japan to find out his girlfriend's whereabouts and is caught up in a Yakuza civil war. Usually a typical Japanese will put Jackie in a wrong place at a wrong time and you will have him running around the whole of Tokyo and the movie ends with Jackie catching the top crook. But this ain't your typical Jackie Chan movie.

Instead of heading straight into the "wrong place wrong time" scenario immediately, we were shown how hard the lives of the illegal Chinese immigrants are. How they band together into a slum like environment and how this small community strives hard to survive in such a foreign environment and how they were drawn into a middle of an ongoing Yakuza civil war which actually turns out to be between a mix of Young and Dangerous and The Godfather.

What I like about this movie, is how for once Jackie is playing out of his usual goody-two-shoes accidental hero or superhuman cop character and jumped into a more down-to-earth kungfu-less chap and also how they try to make a Jackie Chan vehicle movie into an Asian gangster flick. The story is quite decent but when it reaches to the second half of the movie, plot holes began to show up at a rapid-fire rate. The cinematography is excellent and some scenes which is so nicely taken that it almost let you forget about the plotholes in the story. And last but not least the acting is very solid. I mean after all the whole cast is made up of veteran actors which could act without effort at any given time.

Time to play Spot the Familiar Faces from this picture

Other than the (second half of the) story, the pacing of the movie is something that I have big issues with. The story started of at a slow pace which was good as they used the characters to slowly buildup the story (kinda like GTA 4 only without the annoying cousin). Just when the buildup began to build momentum, the director slows things down again which kind of kill off all the buildup that the director had so painstakingly build. Then there are some parts of the movie which happened just like that with zero buildup which kinda totally kills my interests when the movie reaches the two thirds mark.

So what's my final verdict of this movie? A decent 6.8 out of 10. This movie could easily be Jackie Chan's chance to cement his reputation as a "serious" actor but unfortunately a classic this movie is not. Too many plot holes and bad pacing had spoiled what could be a movie of both technical and scriptwriting brilliance.


P/S: If only one of the assasination scnes could be as cool as the Godfather's "Baptism of Fire" scene I would had easily give this flick a 7.

The Bear Cave's Renovation

Finally updated the look to my blog (yeah I know it's about time). What I need now is some kickass looking bear theme header. Anyone? ^_^

Will be watching Shinjuku Incident later. Will review it as soon as I finish watching it.

12 Rounds Review...

Usually at any given day, I would had avoid any WWE (that wrestling organization formerly known as WWF before that panda organization sued them and had their name changed) produced film like a plague. That is because I always strongly believe that wrestling should be the only thing that this company should solely keep their hands on and nothing else. Don't believe me? Look what happen to the previous ventures of the then-WWF in the form of XFL (an American Football league that wants to compete with the NFL) or the World Bodybuilding Federation. Both of them went bust and the most of their movies sucked badly (with the exception of the Scorpion King which I think was pretty decent).

"I am gonna make 5 more movies!!!"

So enter 12 Rounds. When I first heard about it my first reaction was that it is so gonna suck as I thought that it will end up like The Marine (a movie which I sadly watched on the bus on my way to Mersing). As the release date of the movie draws near, something from the poster caught my eye. "From the director of Die Hard 2 and the producer of Speed" both of which happens to be two of my favourite action movies of all time (the 1st being Terminator 2, if you had to ask). So instantly my feelings towards this movie had transformed a 180 degrees from a no-fucking-way-I-am-gonna-watch-this-shit to a I-think-I-should-give-John-Cena-a-2nd-chance.

Thankfully, that initial feeling of avoiding this film was a wrong one....sort of. If there's anyone who knows how to make an action movie, that will be Renny Harlin. After all this guy made so many memorable action flicks but unfortunately, a great director can only do so much if the script suck... horribly. The whole movie is full of bad lines, bad one-liners and a bad story to build-up the action. The story seems to be ripped totally from Speed, Cliffhanger and Die Hard 3. Remember that great elevator scene from Speed? It's there. That "HOLD MY HAND!" scene at the beginning of Cliffhanger? It's there as well. And how about that whole "Simon says mind-games" plot that was the core of Die Hard 3? Sad to say it's the core of this movie as well.

My movie was ripped... Whoa~

Another aspect that this movie had totally neglect, is a need to cast a kickass villain to torment the hero. Instead of getting some kickass villain they have to opt for some unknown actor who can't say.... ACT! Listen WWE, the next time you can't find an awesome actor to play your villain, just grab one of the wrestlers from your roster. I can imagine HHH, Jericho, Randy Orton or heck even Edge could pass off as that villain anytime.

Despite the shitty script, the bad acting and the copy cat storylines there is still some good left in this movie. The action sequences are the only thing that kept this movie from sucking and that should be solely be credited to.. no not Cena, but the director himself. Most of the action sequences at the 2nd half of the movie are well nicely done with some of them being quite breathtaking which was enough from making this movie another crapfest I had the "honour" to watched for the nth time within these two months.

Any lesser director would had made 12 Rounds into this shit-fest

Final verdict? 6.5 out of 10. A decent enjoyable flick if you can totally ignore all that stupid lines spewed out from the characters and just watch the awesome action scenes. How about Cena's acting you ask? Still wooden as like he is cutting a promo in the ring after all he ain't no The Rock or Steve Austin.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? (Watchmen Review)

A long long time ago I came upon an article regarding the graphic novel a.k.a comics for adults called Watchmen. In that article, it sang praises after praises about this short series and how it was the only comic book to ever made it into the Times 100 list of best novels.

Curious as I were, I embark on an internet journey to obtain a copy of this series just to see how amazing this mini-series (12 books in total) of a comic book was. Upon reading the first book, I was hooked and within a day, I had finished the whole series and was totally swept away by the complexity and the awesomeness of the story. Coincidentally, a few days later, which happens to be right after the success of 300 by director Zack Snyder, the movie to Watchmen was announced. I was thrilled and worried at the same time. One part of me was thrilled that just shortly after completing my best comic book story of all time, a movie of it was announced! While the other part of me was very worried how a story so complex as Watchmen could ever translate into 2 to 3 hours of screen time? After 2 years of anticipating to finally watch the movie, fortunately my worries are unfounded.... almost.

I was glad that this movie do not deviate much from the comics. Which remains faithful for the most of 90% of the story. Heck, even the cinematography tends mimic nearly frame by frame of the comic book maybe save for the fight scenes which were way more awesome then the ones in the comics. If there's any Oscar for "Most Faithful Adaptation" category, Watchmen will certainly win the lifetime achievement of this category.

Unfortunately, despite the story being almost faithful to its source material, this movie is hampered by its inability to capture the feeling of most of the key moments of the comic book (see the SPOILERS section for a full list) and also care to explain in detail some important scenes.

So what's my final verdict of this movie? A solid 8.5 out of 10. Another solid comic book adaptation with some minor flaws here and there but still an overall highly watchable film.

P.S: The ending of this movie is quite "profound". Some people might not get it and it will ended up hating the movie. Another note is, if by the halfway mark of the movie and you still go asking "what is this guy's superpower?" to your friends, do yourself a favour and leave the cinema.





RANTS (SPOILERS ALERTS)
The attempted rape of the Silk Spectre I by the Comedian was one of the most iconic moments of the graphic novel unfortunately the film fails to capture this moment.

No details were fleshed out regarding the Keene Act which outlaws "costumed heroes" from fighting crimes.

How Ozymandias' pet which is a successful crossbreed of several felines were not mentioned but instead left the movie-goers confused on what the hell is that think.

Night Owl 2's impotence (sexually) and how he got his mood back is not described in detail.

Ozymandias is way to skinny and frail compared to his comic counterpart.

The plot which Ozymandias hatched to create a peaceful world was actually through a genetic engineered alien-looking gigantic squid to make people believes that it was an alien invasion but in the movie it was something that mimics Dr. Manhattan's power.

Unmasking of Rorschach which was one of the graphic novel's greatest moment happened just like that in the movie. No build-up whatsoever.

How Dr. Manhattan changed his mind to finally interfere into helping mankind was not well done.

And the Game of the Year (2008) Goes to....

Yes I know its a little too late to indulge myself in giving out "awards" to my favourite game of last year, you got to know it's just weird how I never really talk much about video games in my own blog... despite it being my no.1 life waster. I had been playing video games ever since the age of 4 with my first video game being Ice Climbers on a Nintendo Entertainment System rip-off called Micro Genius. I never stop gaming since then and when I come to think of it... it is just sad that my favourite life-waster had taken a backseat in my blog. So if you don't mind, let me indulge myself in giving out awards to my favourite games of 2008.

Surprise of The Year - World of Goo
I don't like to play puzzle games because they either make me feel stupid, or they are to casual for my liking. Then came Portal, a first person physics based puzzle game which actually made me feel clever and laugh at the same time and I thought I will never fall in love with another puzzle game again.... until I played World of Goo a physics based puzzle game in which you must lead a group of "goo" from point A to point B (kinda like Lemmings with physics... without the stupid lemmings). What impress me more is its size of 60MB!!!

If only physics class was ever this fun....

Biggest Disappointment - Spore
Ever since I first heard of Spore's development (circa 2004), I had been anticipating it. I was intrigued by the idea of a game that simulate life itself. How you start a creature from a cell and slowly evolve it into a race of galactic superpower. What makes it even more intriguing is how every single user created creature, buildings and vehicles is uploaded to a Wikipedia like server for all to see. After following the development phase closely for 4+ years I finally got to play it. Instead of a huge open world game which simulates everything in life, we got a multimillion dollar casual game. Every single aspect of the game is dumbed down to appeal to "casual gamers" so say EA. For a game which plays like Pop Cap game, I felt cheated for buying this for RM139.00 (US$40) .

Sadly, the creature creator is the only thing worth playing in this game

Games that I wanted to play badly but never had the chance to - Metal Gear Solid 4
Ah, Metal Gear Solid. One of the best and consistent gaming series that I had ever played. I still remember the first time I played Metal Gear Solid 1, it took me 1 and a half agonizing hours just to get past the first 2 guards. Yeah, I know... I suck but ever since then, every single minute playing it was an orgasmic experience. The wonderful cinematics, the great graphics, the awesome story of twists and turns and last but not least the fantastic stealth gameplay which was quite alien to me back then. Fast forward 3 Metal Gears later, I am still craving for more but unfortunately can't get some. Due to some unknown reason why Hideo Kojima still remains fiercely loyal to the overpriced piece of plastic by the name of Sony Playstation 3.

A video is worth a billion screenshots. Watch it!

Videogame of the Year - Left 4 Dead

Before you go, "WTF? Where is Fallout 3, GTA 4, Mass Effect, etc etc" on me allow me to explain why I gave this award to L4D. Though GTA 4 had a great story, it lacks the free form gameplay that its predecessor San Andreas has. Despite Fallout 3 being a free form epic RPG game, I do not have the time to truly immense myself in the epic-ness of this game. Mass Effect? If it is not for the story, the whole game itself would had suck.

So what's so special about Left 4 Dead you say? This game have what I call the "Diablo-factor". Which in laymen terms means "simple repetitive game but strangely addictive". The whole concept of the game is simple. You and 3 other people have to travel across the zombie infested city to escape from...what else? Zombies. In between your paths of the escape point and you are thousands of zombies including some special types which have special abilities. The hunter, who will jumped and humped you like a rapist, the smoker, a sniper-type zombie which can grab a person with his tongue at long distant, the boomer, an obese zombie which vomit bile on the survivors which attract zombies, the witch, a zombie bitch which will incapacitate you simply by touching you if you disturbed her crying and the tank, which like its name implies, a tank of a zombie that won't die until you empty several rounds of ammo at him.

Unlike all the AAA games that was released last year, Left 4 Dead is the only one with the most replay value especially with friends. Despite only having 4 campaign maps, the game is high replayable as every session is like Diablo. You never know what the game will throw at you until you are there. Best part of them all? You can play as zombies....

Another day at Petaling Street

Jebat oh Jebat.....

Ever since secondary school when I first came upon the story about Jebat vs Tuah in a 7 day iron-man match which ended with Jebat being killed by his best friend Tuah. This all started because Jebat tried to avenge Tuah's supposedly death on the hands of the Sultan of Melaka just because the Sultan heard a rumour regarding Tuah seducing his concubine.

Yes, Hang Tuah and Jebat put on such an epic Ironman Match that even these two men would be ashame.

Without any chance to defend himself whatsoever (ie. a fair trial), Tuah was put to death by the monarch only to be rescued by the Prime Minister secretly. Upon knowing his best friend that he had grown up with was put to death, Jebat rebelled and wreak havoc in the palace of Sun Wukong (Monkey King) proportions. The Sultan, the coward that he is, ran away from the palace instead of facing Jebat like a man. When he was told by the Prime Minister that Tuah was still alive and that he is the only man in the whole of the Melaka Empire that have a chance to beat Jebat, the Sultan immediately grant Tuah full amnesty and order Tuan to kill Jebat.

Instead of just stabbing the Sultan right there and be gone with it, Tuah actually accepted the proposal out of blind loyalty and was successfully his childhood friend. When I read this story during my sastera section of my Bahasa Malaysia/Melayu class, I was actually surprised how a dumbass like Hang Tuah could ever be such a great Malaysian legend? He helped a man who wants him dead to kill his childhood friend who rebelled all because of him for crying out loud!

Instead, such acts was glorified while the man who rebelled because the Sultan was a dumbass was defiled and brand a traitor. Poor oh Jebat. If he was born elsewhere he could had be a bigger legend his dumbass friend was and his quote " Raja adil raja disembah, raja zalim raja disanggah" (which roughly means a fair king one shall submit, a cruel king one shall overthrow) shall be quoted for revolutionaries and freedom fighters in history.

This could easily be Hang Jebat's face instead of Che Guevara's

After all the shit that had happened, what do you think about this? Are you the follower of Jebat's School of Thought by submitting and serving loyally ONLY to kings that are fair and cares for the people? Or are you the type that follows the Tuah's School of Thought which teaches you to be obedient to the king's order even if he tried to screw you over?

In other news.... some family member had given another great speech about fairness and justice. What a noble man indeed........

The screw: Rumoured to be Perak's newly proposed coat of arms

True colours revealed...

Guess now we know where the someone truly stands. Guess we had all taken for a ride by their "clean" and people-friendly facade. 5th February is the day Malaysian democracy is been raped and humiliated by the Barisan Nasional.

Anwar might deserves to be humiliated but not the majority of the people in Perak. They deserve way better than this shit.

Moral of the story is....

Here's what the political drama in Perak had taught us:

1. Despite maintaining a respectable image, by refusing to call for snap elections immediately, the Sultan of Perak had clearly shown his disinterest in wanting a state government which had won cleanly by the mandate of the people.

2. That smile in Najib's face had revealed his true colours. That bugger could barely hide his emotions.... perhaps this is a good time to make him reveal some stuffs **hint hint**

The smile that reveals all - Photo leeched from AFP

3. I would be very happy if BN wins back more states by corruption during this period of economic recession. You could only dump this much shit to the rakyat before they start running amok.

4. This event could only signify two things. Either its the beginning of the end for Malaysia or the beginning of the end for Barisan Nasional.