Weird?

Someone complaint that I never write anything about my personal life in my blog. So what is a better than kicking off the "third season" of my blog with an entry of my personal life, eh?

It was this evening when I was reading the newspapers in my room and I come across this picture of Pak Lah in the front page. I said "In your whole career as PM, you had never made a right decision before" to myself and than my bro who was on his way to his room heard me talking to myself. I did not notice he was right outside my room until he said "You are very weird, talking to yourself like that".

"What is wrong with talking to myself?" I asked.

"It is just so weird" he replied.

After that he walk into his room. I was still puzzled by his remark then until I remembered that he had never been alone all his life. He had always had someone to talk to and someone to play with him all his life. You see, he and my 2nd brother is only 2 years apart while me and my 2nd brother is 5 freakin' years apart. I am never close to my brothers as there is this one huge age gap between us. The only conversation that I can strike with them is about computer games that we play. Other than that, we had nothing else to say.

I really do envy my two little brothers. They are so close. When they are down, they can share their sorrows, when they are angry they had each other to complain to, when they are bored they have each other to talk to. Sadly, that's a life I had never had. A life that I wanted if I can go over this again.

I had always been growing up alone. Well its not always like this. I use to have close childhood friends when back then when me and my parents are living under a rented roof. I was living downstairs while my friends lived upstairs. Well, life changed for me when I had to moved to our very own home when I was 5. My life changed. I had been growing up alone ever since. It was during these times that I develop a habit of talking to myself.

During my childhood years, I had only myself to talk to. When I am sad, I had only myself to talk to. When I am happy, I can only share it with myself. When I am lonely, at least its not so bad... I still have my pillows and my plushie camel with me (the camel's had been long gone since secondary school). When I am bored, I only had my computer to play with. You might be wondering where are my primary school friends? Well you see, primary school for me is the worse 6 years of my life ever but that's another story for another time. When I reach my teenage years, things were better. At least I had some nice friends with me and I can go and hang out with them but still at the end of the day, I still talk to myself a lot as most of the time when I am not with my friends, I will feel alone at home and I will start talking to myself. That is why from that moment on I had started to join and organised activities up until now.

Hope nobody thinks I am weird after they read this entry >_<