Uncle Bear's Column - My Neighbours Want to Whack me!!

Dear Uncle Bear,

I can't stand my neighbours anymore. Day after day they try to whack me for no reason at all. I swear upon my leather sofa that I did not do anything to them at all! Maybe except throwing a few stones to their windows first and smashing their car's windscreen but that's nothing serious right? But those bastards wanted me dead!! So they are the evil ones right?

You know what's even worse? They try to whack my children when they could not find me! Not that I am a coward or anything... I mean my life is more important than my kid's. If I am dead who will feed the family? Therefore I am forced into hiding while sacrificing a few of my kids (I have 20 so 1 or 2 dead is fine by me) ... But still those kids are innocent!

Anyway, you got to tell me what to do Uncle Bear! I can't stand them anymore!!

From,
Mr. Teh Loh Lis
Taman Timur Tengah



Dear Teh,

You bloody ball-less coward. If you want your neighbours to stop whacking your family day in and day out, why don't you just stop running and face them like a man. And do remember it is you who throw stones at his house first and that just given him the right to wipe your ass all over Taman Timur Tengah.

After said that, yes I do agree that your neighbours should stop targeting your kids. After all they are not the ones throwing the stones to your neighbours. Maybe to stop that you could place a Mr. Teh Loh Lis is here sign wherever you run to a corner and hide. Maybe that would stop them from whacking your kids. Or alternatively you could pick up Wing Chun and kick the living hell out of your neighbour while looking cool (didn't you watch Ip Man?).

Now if you would excuse me, I have some salmon to catch.

Uncle Bear




This post is actually inspired from my lil' brother's post here.