My E-mail to Lim Kit Siang

Here's my e-mail to the man I admire most in Malaysian politics. It is about my personal worries regarding the Tidak Apa attitude that both the PR and BN are towards the current global economic crisis. Do forgive me if this ain't Shakespeare material.

Dear Uncle Kit,

As a staunch supporter of DAP and all things that you guys fight for, I am very disappointed on how the party's is representing the rakyat is over the current global economic crisis that will eventually or already hit us. As Malaysia majority an export oriented manufacturing nation, I am pretty sure that we would be hit, if not already being hit by this crisis but it is unfortunate that no politicians seem to be interested in it. Instead day after day we were told of the same bullshit over and over again on how resilient our economy is towards this crisis and how little effects will be felt in this country.

What disappoint me is how DAP is not doing anything to challenge the government's view of the economy eventhough I am certain that they themselves had know first hand on how bad the situation through their "fortress", Penang. Yet, like the government, no one from DAP dared to mention a word about the current situation which is very much unlike the DAP's ideology of leading a transparent government which I had been supporting!

We need a voice in this tough times, Uncle Kit. We do not need false assurance, but knowledge of how bad things are now and how the DAP or the PR as a whole will fight for the people to ensure that the government had a proactive plan that benefits everyone. As most of the rakyat are bracing for a bad Chinese New Year due to salary and bonus cuts, the least of the consolation we need now is someone acknowledging our plight.

Best regards,
Justin

Uncle Bear's Column - My Neighbours Want to Whack me!!

Dear Uncle Bear,

I can't stand my neighbours anymore. Day after day they try to whack me for no reason at all. I swear upon my leather sofa that I did not do anything to them at all! Maybe except throwing a few stones to their windows first and smashing their car's windscreen but that's nothing serious right? But those bastards wanted me dead!! So they are the evil ones right?

You know what's even worse? They try to whack my children when they could not find me! Not that I am a coward or anything... I mean my life is more important than my kid's. If I am dead who will feed the family? Therefore I am forced into hiding while sacrificing a few of my kids (I have 20 so 1 or 2 dead is fine by me) ... But still those kids are innocent!

Anyway, you got to tell me what to do Uncle Bear! I can't stand them anymore!!

From,
Mr. Teh Loh Lis
Taman Timur Tengah



Dear Teh,

You bloody ball-less coward. If you want your neighbours to stop whacking your family day in and day out, why don't you just stop running and face them like a man. And do remember it is you who throw stones at his house first and that just given him the right to wipe your ass all over Taman Timur Tengah.

After said that, yes I do agree that your neighbours should stop targeting your kids. After all they are not the ones throwing the stones to your neighbours. Maybe to stop that you could place a Mr. Teh Loh Lis is here sign wherever you run to a corner and hide. Maybe that would stop them from whacking your kids. Or alternatively you could pick up Wing Chun and kick the living hell out of your neighbour while looking cool (didn't you watch Ip Man?).

Now if you would excuse me, I have some salmon to catch.

Uncle Bear




This post is actually inspired from my lil' brother's post here.

Mix Feelings

I know this will sound a bit insane to everyone who knows me but something's bothering me and I just got to get it out of my system. I am having mix feelings about Pakatan Rakyat. I know some of you might think that this is a joke, but no, I am serious. I am having doubts about this alliance that DAP, PKR and PAS is having.

Don't get me wrong, I am still a loyal DAP supporter and no, it's not about DAP-PAS relationship that troubles me... because deep down inside I truly believe that both of them can actually get along . What seriously cause me to doubt this alliance is none other than the "mouthpiece party" of the alliance, PKR. Their defacto leader to be precise.

Before the elections I use to think that Anwar is the new beacon of hope for Malaysia. The saviour of Malaysian politics. The person that can finally reform Malaysia. But after the political tsunami of March 8th it seem that the big boss of PKR have even bigger ambitions. Instead of going slow and build a foundation of support through good governance in PR ruled states, Anwar decided to go for the kill and tried to get MPs to hop over to PR in order for him to finally realise his dream of being the Prime Minister. That is no reformasi! That is the repeat of what the Barisan Nasional had been doing over and over again! Is that what a reformist should be doing? Using the same tactics as the current regime is using?

At first I do not feel anything at all. Sadly to say I was supportive even. But the recent events had me seriously doubting Anwars credibility. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy seeing Anwar making Najib shit in his pants on a near daily basis but it is his wild ambitions of taking power by force ala BN style. It seems to me that as time goes by Anwar is slowly shedding his Reformasi skin and slowly revealing UMNO roots. For once I wish I am wrong..... I do wish that the Pakatan Rakyat will succeed in living up to the coalition's name of always putting the rakyat's interest first!

Let us all ride horsies.....

With the recent 40% fuel hike maybe its time for us to go green.... for good and go buy a horse. Knowing Pak Lah he might hit us all with a 200% to 300% tax on all foreign imported horses and raise the price of green grass by 40%.

We need answers Pak Lah not empty promises....

Where are all the money you had saved in the last petrol hike? What had you done with it? All thrown into the elections machinery which you had lost badly? Thrown into those half-ass corridors that seems to be going the way of Grandpa Corridor (the MSC)?

Where had all the tax money for buying a car gone to? To all the RM10k tiang lampu which is aplenty in Johor Bahru? Or is it the RM300 tong sampahs in Melaka? Or that magical screw driver which costs hundreds of dollars EACH?

Are you still going to send another piece of space junk by the name of angkasawan to space at the expense of petrol subsidies? Where is the public transport upgrade you promised us when petrol just turned RM1.92?

Will there be tax rebates for buying a hybrid car like in Singapore? How about letting us to buy cars at market price and not the inflated price? How about a decrease in tolls price?

Here comes my last question.... What is the reason that rich IPPs can get multi-million in gas subsidies while we the lowly peasant of Bolehland are made to suffer?

It is time to stop giving us half-ass reasons and excuses and start giving us answers Pak Lah.

Pak Lah's Vision 2020

Pak Lah's 2020 vision after shoving the double whammy of price increases in our face.... turning Malaysia into an Amish Paradise....

What's an Amish you say? Let's hear it from Weird Al then....

Oii Putra-kaya dumbfucks!!

You fucking promise us that you will be going to upgrade the public transportation 2 whole fucking years ago. You fucking promise us that you have a fucking subsidy plan. You fucking promise us that by banning foreigners from the petrol station we can keep our subsidies. Then what happen? You announce a fucking 40% increase in petrol prices.

There you are building all those fucking unnecessary multi-billion corridors and sending some gay cock sucker into space while you deprive us of our subsidies and our basic right of a DECENT public transportation system. How about that motherfucking whooping tax you charge on all vehicles? We had been paying such heavy taxes and yet we can't have our subsidies?

Keep this up and we will make bloody sure that we kick all your motherfucking asses out of your petrol money funded Putra-kaya office pretty soon!

My take on Tibet

This Monty Python clip from their movie Life of Brian is exactly what I think about Tibet:



China had given Tibet so much development these past years and yet the Tibetans insists on gaining independence. Well IMHO, China should give them what they want and let the Tibetans come back begging to join them after 10 years.

Almost there....

After wandering in the wilderness for almost a year I can finally see my destination. I am almost there... A few weeks more and I will be there. Just hope that it is not another freakin' mirage.

Five Hours Before Elections

Today will be the day I cast my first vote in my entire life. Today will be the day I do my part in denying BN a 2/3 majority. I am hoping that several years down the road I will be telling my kids and grandchildren that how me and a few millions of other Malaysians regardless of race came together and vote for a change for Malaysia. And how today is a day where Malaysians send several bloggers into Parliament despite being told several times how we were bunch of lying losers with a 80% majority of jobless females.

Vote for Malaysia... VOTE OPPOSITION!!!

Selamat Berundi and may we make history today!!!

Poor Dr. Chua

Why is a "prominent lawyer" still untouched and is still able to make so much noise to an extent of calling his brother crazy despite being caught on tape for brokering the CJ position and still have the face to deny it while a "prominent politician" is forced to resign just because he is caught on tape having an affair with a woman just because he admit it?

As a rakyat ask yourself, which is worse? Some prominent lawyer fucking with the judicial system of Malaysia, or a prominent politician fucking his "personal friend"?

What is the moral of the story here? You can fuck Malaysia but not someone else other than your wife? Or don't admit to anything eventhough you are caught red handed on tape?

Heroes Season 2 Rants

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains heavy spoilers for the 2nd season of Heroes. You had been warned :-P

Like many Heroes fans out there, I was quite disappointed at how the second season of Heroes played out. I mean the first 2 episodes started out nicely but as soon as it hit the 3rd episode things started to go downhill. Sylar was relegated into a side show, Micah and Monica story-arc serves no purpose and don't even get me started with all the cheesy love stories playing out all at once this season.

Just when all things look bleak for Season 2 things got somewhat interesting when we found out that Takezo Kensei was actually Adam Monroe, the person who founded the company who was also a huge influence of Linderman's 0.07% theory in Season 1. What makes things even more interesting is how Hiro Nakamura is indirectly responsible for everything that ever happened to the world so far and also how the world is going to end in another year's time.

Just when Heroes started to get me interested again, the producers announced that due to the Writer's Strike the season will end with Episode 11. With only one episode to go I was crossing my fingers and hope that Season 2 will end with a cliffhanger and continues with Season 3 as I feel there isn't much build up yet for the Virus story arc to end just yet but unfortunately the think otherwise and ended the story arc at the season finale. Everything in the season finale looks extremely rushed. The showdown between Hiro and Peter sucked badly and Adam Monroe this season's big baddie was relegated badly into nothing more than an extra just to make Hiro Nakamura look good. What is even more frustrating is that they did not tie up the loose ends which leaves more questions than answers such as what happened to Kaitlin? A few minutes ago Peter was so determine to get her back and when things settled down he just forgot all about her? Or where is The Haitian? Just when you think he is going to have an important role this season he disappeared into thin air... again. Why didn't the founders just killed Adam when they knew that blowing his head off will kill him?

After what was a rollercoaster ride that was Season 1, Season 2 is nothing but a Go-kart that refuses to break 30km/h. Let's just hope Heroes can redeem itself next season.

P.S: Who the hell shot Nathan? Hopefully its not Noah if not it will be pretty damn predictable.

Oops my bad...

Gotta thank Sheena for pointing out the part which I had misread in my previous post (which is now deleted btw to save myself from further embarassment :P). Thanks again and apologies to all good doctors (none for the bad ones of course heh)....

Dear Proton (Car with a religion?)

Please don't make us feel stupid more then we are feeling now? Please? As if your Ministers haven't embarrassed us Malaysians enough with this and this, you have to declare to the whole World that you are manufacturing a car that has a religion.

Compare to that retard of an idea, I guess the Persona doesn't seem to stupid after all.

Only in Malaysia, only in Malaysia....

Well why am I not surprise that Anwar is threatened with jail time by the ACA despite being an "agent" of the whistleblower by revealing the Lingam-gate video? After all I was a victim of such "scare" tactics only mine is employed on a "University level" more than a year ago. May God have mercy on us Malaysians.

WTF?

Here's what to expect if you are planning to read The Star today.



World's most luckiest unemployed man (that is if you don't consider being a VP of the fucked up FAM a job that is)... have a quarter page dedicated to his new-born son while the former Prime Minister of Malaysia:



had such a small column that you can't even detect without the magnifying glass.

Look, Khairy ain't no Tom Cruise or is he Brad Pitt... so why on earth does he had a special column dedicated to how his son is named? Mainstream media have nothing better to report than to bodek both the Son-in-Law and the Father-in-law? No wonder people rather read blogs... Let's just pray that the Tun don't read the newspapers today.

Of Cops and Priorities

In elsewhere in the World whenever a sick and disgusting murder like Nurin's case occur, the first thing the cops will do is catch that sick bastard and put him behind bars as soon as possible. Unfortunately for all of us, this is Malaysia. Where the cops main priority is to charge the victim's parents first and think about the murderer later.

If that's not enough you have other 3rd World Ministers endorsing which defies all logic. Just when you think that Ministers putting the blame on women for snatch thefts and rape cases is disgusting, this my dear Malaysians is a whole new fucking level of how low our government is willing to go to screw us all.

I guess we are so fucked that even Turkey declares that they do not want to be Malaysia. Syabas BN! Hmmm... guess I will place Turkey under my "places-to-runaway-to-in-case-Malaysia-is-seriously-screwed" list.

50th Merdeka... Is there anything left to celebrate anymore?

Crime rates..... Prosecution and detainment of bloggers..... Demonizing a local born music genius for expressing his views..... fledging economy.... racial segregation is at its peak and the powers that be seems more interested to keep it that way instead of uniting us....

Even when our athletes are competing in international tournaments I find myself hoping that they will lose so that they can free themselves from being yet another photo-op for some attention whoring politicians... or worse helping the ruling parties in their campaigns. Even National Day is nothing but a sorry excuse for ministers to place their face on banners in public places.

There is truly nothing left for us Malaysians to celebrate anymore come this National Day....

Sandiwara in the making Part 2

God bless MCA for two great plays that they had produced for specially for us Malaysian Chinese over the past few weeks. Just when I thought that only Yasmin Ahmad is the only capable film maker in this country, MCA have to just come along and prove me wrong. To those who had missed it, here's a recap on two of these two great films produced by MCA:

Namewee

Starring: Doctor Chua, Various Ministers, with cameo appearance by Namewee

This is perhaps one of the best film I had seen this year. The story all started out about a little boy who is so unsatisfied with what is going on and decided to express his feelings through his talents which happens to be music. It became an instant hit overnight with critics praising him and he gain many fans. All seem to go well for this boy until the villain of the story which starred various ministers decided to go into overkill by suing his ass off for a rule which will be custom made later just for him.

Just when all hope seems lost for this little boy, a superhero doctor by the name of Dr. Chua decided to come in and save the day acting as a mobile condom and shielding him from the deadly Seditious Act virus that he is prone to get. Credit goes to Dr Chua for his awesome acting skills for making this play a success. Not many actors can act out this role with such drama and not laughing at how freakin' silly it is at the same time. Currently this play is still playing in all your local papers nearly on a daily basis. So do catch it if you had missed the first few episodes.

Overall Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5



Where's the Translation? (A Malaysian sequel to the movie Lost in Translation)

Starring: Datuk Liow with cameo appearance by The Son-In-Law®

In perhaps one of the best play that had ever been produced by any local production companies, Where's the Translation is perhaps one of the best ever. It all started out slowly in a simple yet touching scene about a man giving a speech to the people. Just when you think this is what this play is over, WHAM! it hit you like a speeding train with its moving climax with Datuk Liow giving a fiery speech while holding a book directing at everybody's favourite Son-In-Law® while he was watching. The play ended with The Son-In-Law® saying that he don't understand what Datuk Liow is saying as his fiery speech was in another language which leaves the audience roaring with laughter.

Overall rating: 5 stars out of 5. The transition from a serious flick into a full blown comedy is flawless. It really takes someone way above the likes of Stephen Chow to do it. Kudos MCA!


Thank you MCA for these entertainment to turn us away from our countries grave problems. After all we the people do need to take our minds off the soaring crime rates and many other problems eating up our country.

Do check out Part 1 of this post here.

Government nothing better to do?

You know our country is going to hell when the Cabinet is not discussing about the rising crime rates, the not-so-feel-good economy, racism or the rotting education system but about a Youtube video which is about a guy singing our national anthem in a much different way then it is suppose to?

Our country is rotting right in front of our eyes and all these Ministers are talking about Youtube and a guy who is expressing his frustration with his great talents? I am not trying to be rude here my dear Yang Berhormat's, Datuk's, Tan Sri's or any other God-knows-what title you gave yourself just to make your penis sounds longer, for God's sake-or-what-ever-you-believe-in please do your job and stop discussing meaningless shit in your cabinet meetings? Well even if you do want to continue to discuss shit in your meetings PLEASE DON'T PUBLICIZE IT IN YOUR NEWSPAPERS and insult our intelligence.

Do you guys even care about the crime rates? Do you guys even care whether the rakyat suffer due to the ever increasing inflation rates in our daily necessities? Had you ever wondered why Malaysians always seek to migrate whenever they had a chance?

Now if you'll excuse me, I will be looking at the World map.....