Jebat oh Jebat.....

Ever since secondary school when I first came upon the story about Jebat vs Tuah in a 7 day iron-man match which ended with Jebat being killed by his best friend Tuah. This all started because Jebat tried to avenge Tuah's supposedly death on the hands of the Sultan of Melaka just because the Sultan heard a rumour regarding Tuah seducing his concubine.

Yes, Hang Tuah and Jebat put on such an epic Ironman Match that even these two men would be ashame.

Without any chance to defend himself whatsoever (ie. a fair trial), Tuah was put to death by the monarch only to be rescued by the Prime Minister secretly. Upon knowing his best friend that he had grown up with was put to death, Jebat rebelled and wreak havoc in the palace of Sun Wukong (Monkey King) proportions. The Sultan, the coward that he is, ran away from the palace instead of facing Jebat like a man. When he was told by the Prime Minister that Tuah was still alive and that he is the only man in the whole of the Melaka Empire that have a chance to beat Jebat, the Sultan immediately grant Tuah full amnesty and order Tuan to kill Jebat.

Instead of just stabbing the Sultan right there and be gone with it, Tuah actually accepted the proposal out of blind loyalty and was successfully his childhood friend. When I read this story during my sastera section of my Bahasa Malaysia/Melayu class, I was actually surprised how a dumbass like Hang Tuah could ever be such a great Malaysian legend? He helped a man who wants him dead to kill his childhood friend who rebelled all because of him for crying out loud!

Instead, such acts was glorified while the man who rebelled because the Sultan was a dumbass was defiled and brand a traitor. Poor oh Jebat. If he was born elsewhere he could had be a bigger legend his dumbass friend was and his quote " Raja adil raja disembah, raja zalim raja disanggah" (which roughly means a fair king one shall submit, a cruel king one shall overthrow) shall be quoted for revolutionaries and freedom fighters in history.

This could easily be Hang Jebat's face instead of Che Guevara's

After all the shit that had happened, what do you think about this? Are you the follower of Jebat's School of Thought by submitting and serving loyally ONLY to kings that are fair and cares for the people? Or are you the type that follows the Tuah's School of Thought which teaches you to be obedient to the king's order even if he tried to screw you over?

In other news.... some family member had given another great speech about fairness and justice. What a noble man indeed........

The screw: Rumoured to be Perak's newly proposed coat of arms

True colours revealed...

Guess now we know where the someone truly stands. Guess we had all taken for a ride by their "clean" and people-friendly facade. 5th February is the day Malaysian democracy is been raped and humiliated by the Barisan Nasional.

Anwar might deserves to be humiliated but not the majority of the people in Perak. They deserve way better than this shit.

Moral of the story is....

Here's what the political drama in Perak had taught us:

1. Despite maintaining a respectable image, by refusing to call for snap elections immediately, the Sultan of Perak had clearly shown his disinterest in wanting a state government which had won cleanly by the mandate of the people.

2. That smile in Najib's face had revealed his true colours. That bugger could barely hide his emotions.... perhaps this is a good time to make him reveal some stuffs **hint hint**

The smile that reveals all - Photo leeched from AFP

3. I would be very happy if BN wins back more states by corruption during this period of economic recession. You could only dump this much shit to the rakyat before they start running amok.

4. This event could only signify two things. Either its the beginning of the end for Malaysia or the beginning of the end for Barisan Nasional.

My E-mail to Lim Kit Siang

Here's my e-mail to the man I admire most in Malaysian politics. It is about my personal worries regarding the Tidak Apa attitude that both the PR and BN are towards the current global economic crisis. Do forgive me if this ain't Shakespeare material.

Dear Uncle Kit,

As a staunch supporter of DAP and all things that you guys fight for, I am very disappointed on how the party's is representing the rakyat is over the current global economic crisis that will eventually or already hit us. As Malaysia majority an export oriented manufacturing nation, I am pretty sure that we would be hit, if not already being hit by this crisis but it is unfortunate that no politicians seem to be interested in it. Instead day after day we were told of the same bullshit over and over again on how resilient our economy is towards this crisis and how little effects will be felt in this country.

What disappoint me is how DAP is not doing anything to challenge the government's view of the economy eventhough I am certain that they themselves had know first hand on how bad the situation through their "fortress", Penang. Yet, like the government, no one from DAP dared to mention a word about the current situation which is very much unlike the DAP's ideology of leading a transparent government which I had been supporting!

We need a voice in this tough times, Uncle Kit. We do not need false assurance, but knowledge of how bad things are now and how the DAP or the PR as a whole will fight for the people to ensure that the government had a proactive plan that benefits everyone. As most of the rakyat are bracing for a bad Chinese New Year due to salary and bonus cuts, the least of the consolation we need now is someone acknowledging our plight.

Best regards,
Justin

Uncle Bear's Column - My Neighbours Want to Whack me!!

Dear Uncle Bear,

I can't stand my neighbours anymore. Day after day they try to whack me for no reason at all. I swear upon my leather sofa that I did not do anything to them at all! Maybe except throwing a few stones to their windows first and smashing their car's windscreen but that's nothing serious right? But those bastards wanted me dead!! So they are the evil ones right?

You know what's even worse? They try to whack my children when they could not find me! Not that I am a coward or anything... I mean my life is more important than my kid's. If I am dead who will feed the family? Therefore I am forced into hiding while sacrificing a few of my kids (I have 20 so 1 or 2 dead is fine by me) ... But still those kids are innocent!

Anyway, you got to tell me what to do Uncle Bear! I can't stand them anymore!!

From,
Mr. Teh Loh Lis
Taman Timur Tengah



Dear Teh,

You bloody ball-less coward. If you want your neighbours to stop whacking your family day in and day out, why don't you just stop running and face them like a man. And do remember it is you who throw stones at his house first and that just given him the right to wipe your ass all over Taman Timur Tengah.

After said that, yes I do agree that your neighbours should stop targeting your kids. After all they are not the ones throwing the stones to your neighbours. Maybe to stop that you could place a Mr. Teh Loh Lis is here sign wherever you run to a corner and hide. Maybe that would stop them from whacking your kids. Or alternatively you could pick up Wing Chun and kick the living hell out of your neighbour while looking cool (didn't you watch Ip Man?).

Now if you would excuse me, I have some salmon to catch.

Uncle Bear




This post is actually inspired from my lil' brother's post here.

Mix Feelings

I know this will sound a bit insane to everyone who knows me but something's bothering me and I just got to get it out of my system. I am having mix feelings about Pakatan Rakyat. I know some of you might think that this is a joke, but no, I am serious. I am having doubts about this alliance that DAP, PKR and PAS is having.

Don't get me wrong, I am still a loyal DAP supporter and no, it's not about DAP-PAS relationship that troubles me... because deep down inside I truly believe that both of them can actually get along . What seriously cause me to doubt this alliance is none other than the "mouthpiece party" of the alliance, PKR. Their defacto leader to be precise.

Before the elections I use to think that Anwar is the new beacon of hope for Malaysia. The saviour of Malaysian politics. The person that can finally reform Malaysia. But after the political tsunami of March 8th it seem that the big boss of PKR have even bigger ambitions. Instead of going slow and build a foundation of support through good governance in PR ruled states, Anwar decided to go for the kill and tried to get MPs to hop over to PR in order for him to finally realise his dream of being the Prime Minister. That is no reformasi! That is the repeat of what the Barisan Nasional had been doing over and over again! Is that what a reformist should be doing? Using the same tactics as the current regime is using?

At first I do not feel anything at all. Sadly to say I was supportive even. But the recent events had me seriously doubting Anwars credibility. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy seeing Anwar making Najib shit in his pants on a near daily basis but it is his wild ambitions of taking power by force ala BN style. It seems to me that as time goes by Anwar is slowly shedding his Reformasi skin and slowly revealing UMNO roots. For once I wish I am wrong..... I do wish that the Pakatan Rakyat will succeed in living up to the coalition's name of always putting the rakyat's interest first!

Let us all ride horsies.....

With the recent 40% fuel hike maybe its time for us to go green.... for good and go buy a horse. Knowing Pak Lah he might hit us all with a 200% to 300% tax on all foreign imported horses and raise the price of green grass by 40%.

We need answers Pak Lah not empty promises....

Where are all the money you had saved in the last petrol hike? What had you done with it? All thrown into the elections machinery which you had lost badly? Thrown into those half-ass corridors that seems to be going the way of Grandpa Corridor (the MSC)?

Where had all the tax money for buying a car gone to? To all the RM10k tiang lampu which is aplenty in Johor Bahru? Or is it the RM300 tong sampahs in Melaka? Or that magical screw driver which costs hundreds of dollars EACH?

Are you still going to send another piece of space junk by the name of angkasawan to space at the expense of petrol subsidies? Where is the public transport upgrade you promised us when petrol just turned RM1.92?

Will there be tax rebates for buying a hybrid car like in Singapore? How about letting us to buy cars at market price and not the inflated price? How about a decrease in tolls price?

Here comes my last question.... What is the reason that rich IPPs can get multi-million in gas subsidies while we the lowly peasant of Bolehland are made to suffer?

It is time to stop giving us half-ass reasons and excuses and start giving us answers Pak Lah.

Pak Lah's Vision 2020

Pak Lah's 2020 vision after shoving the double whammy of price increases in our face.... turning Malaysia into an Amish Paradise....

What's an Amish you say? Let's hear it from Weird Al then....

Oii Putra-kaya dumbfucks!!

You fucking promise us that you will be going to upgrade the public transportation 2 whole fucking years ago. You fucking promise us that you have a fucking subsidy plan. You fucking promise us that by banning foreigners from the petrol station we can keep our subsidies. Then what happen? You announce a fucking 40% increase in petrol prices.

There you are building all those fucking unnecessary multi-billion corridors and sending some gay cock sucker into space while you deprive us of our subsidies and our basic right of a DECENT public transportation system. How about that motherfucking whooping tax you charge on all vehicles? We had been paying such heavy taxes and yet we can't have our subsidies?

Keep this up and we will make bloody sure that we kick all your motherfucking asses out of your petrol money funded Putra-kaya office pretty soon!

My take on Tibet

This Monty Python clip from their movie Life of Brian is exactly what I think about Tibet:



China had given Tibet so much development these past years and yet the Tibetans insists on gaining independence. Well IMHO, China should give them what they want and let the Tibetans come back begging to join them after 10 years.

Almost there....

After wandering in the wilderness for almost a year I can finally see my destination. I am almost there... A few weeks more and I will be there. Just hope that it is not another freakin' mirage.

Five Hours Before Elections

Today will be the day I cast my first vote in my entire life. Today will be the day I do my part in denying BN a 2/3 majority. I am hoping that several years down the road I will be telling my kids and grandchildren that how me and a few millions of other Malaysians regardless of race came together and vote for a change for Malaysia. And how today is a day where Malaysians send several bloggers into Parliament despite being told several times how we were bunch of lying losers with a 80% majority of jobless females.

Vote for Malaysia... VOTE OPPOSITION!!!

Selamat Berundi and may we make history today!!!

Poor Dr. Chua

Why is a "prominent lawyer" still untouched and is still able to make so much noise to an extent of calling his brother crazy despite being caught on tape for brokering the CJ position and still have the face to deny it while a "prominent politician" is forced to resign just because he is caught on tape having an affair with a woman just because he admit it?

As a rakyat ask yourself, which is worse? Some prominent lawyer fucking with the judicial system of Malaysia, or a prominent politician fucking his "personal friend"?

What is the moral of the story here? You can fuck Malaysia but not someone else other than your wife? Or don't admit to anything eventhough you are caught red handed on tape?

Heroes Season 2 Rants

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains heavy spoilers for the 2nd season of Heroes. You had been warned :-P

Like many Heroes fans out there, I was quite disappointed at how the second season of Heroes played out. I mean the first 2 episodes started out nicely but as soon as it hit the 3rd episode things started to go downhill. Sylar was relegated into a side show, Micah and Monica story-arc serves no purpose and don't even get me started with all the cheesy love stories playing out all at once this season.

Just when all things look bleak for Season 2 things got somewhat interesting when we found out that Takezo Kensei was actually Adam Monroe, the person who founded the company who was also a huge influence of Linderman's 0.07% theory in Season 1. What makes things even more interesting is how Hiro Nakamura is indirectly responsible for everything that ever happened to the world so far and also how the world is going to end in another year's time.

Just when Heroes started to get me interested again, the producers announced that due to the Writer's Strike the season will end with Episode 11. With only one episode to go I was crossing my fingers and hope that Season 2 will end with a cliffhanger and continues with Season 3 as I feel there isn't much build up yet for the Virus story arc to end just yet but unfortunately the think otherwise and ended the story arc at the season finale. Everything in the season finale looks extremely rushed. The showdown between Hiro and Peter sucked badly and Adam Monroe this season's big baddie was relegated badly into nothing more than an extra just to make Hiro Nakamura look good. What is even more frustrating is that they did not tie up the loose ends which leaves more questions than answers such as what happened to Kaitlin? A few minutes ago Peter was so determine to get her back and when things settled down he just forgot all about her? Or where is The Haitian? Just when you think he is going to have an important role this season he disappeared into thin air... again. Why didn't the founders just killed Adam when they knew that blowing his head off will kill him?

After what was a rollercoaster ride that was Season 1, Season 2 is nothing but a Go-kart that refuses to break 30km/h. Let's just hope Heroes can redeem itself next season.

P.S: Who the hell shot Nathan? Hopefully its not Noah if not it will be pretty damn predictable.

Oops my bad...

Gotta thank Sheena for pointing out the part which I had misread in my previous post (which is now deleted btw to save myself from further embarassment :P). Thanks again and apologies to all good doctors (none for the bad ones of course heh)....

Dear Proton (Car with a religion?)

Please don't make us feel stupid more then we are feeling now? Please? As if your Ministers haven't embarrassed us Malaysians enough with this and this, you have to declare to the whole World that you are manufacturing a car that has a religion.

Compare to that retard of an idea, I guess the Persona doesn't seem to stupid after all.

Only in Malaysia, only in Malaysia....

Well why am I not surprise that Anwar is threatened with jail time by the ACA despite being an "agent" of the whistleblower by revealing the Lingam-gate video? After all I was a victim of such "scare" tactics only mine is employed on a "University level" more than a year ago. May God have mercy on us Malaysians.

WTF?

Here's what to expect if you are planning to read The Star today.



World's most luckiest unemployed man (that is if you don't consider being a VP of the fucked up FAM a job that is)... have a quarter page dedicated to his new-born son while the former Prime Minister of Malaysia:



had such a small column that you can't even detect without the magnifying glass.

Look, Khairy ain't no Tom Cruise or is he Brad Pitt... so why on earth does he had a special column dedicated to how his son is named? Mainstream media have nothing better to report than to bodek both the Son-in-Law and the Father-in-law? No wonder people rather read blogs... Let's just pray that the Tun don't read the newspapers today.

Of Cops and Priorities

In elsewhere in the World whenever a sick and disgusting murder like Nurin's case occur, the first thing the cops will do is catch that sick bastard and put him behind bars as soon as possible. Unfortunately for all of us, this is Malaysia. Where the cops main priority is to charge the victim's parents first and think about the murderer later.

If that's not enough you have other 3rd World Ministers endorsing which defies all logic. Just when you think that Ministers putting the blame on women for snatch thefts and rape cases is disgusting, this my dear Malaysians is a whole new fucking level of how low our government is willing to go to screw us all.

I guess we are so fucked that even Turkey declares that they do not want to be Malaysia. Syabas BN! Hmmm... guess I will place Turkey under my "places-to-runaway-to-in-case-Malaysia-is-seriously-screwed" list.